mark 14 :: leading up to the garden

i wonder if this was one of those last straw moments for Jesus. i wonder if His patience wore thin with judas, and with coming events in mind i wouldn’t blame Him. but i’m still sure that Jesus was trying to teach him even now, even though his betrayal was at hand. i never doubt the love of Christ, and the pity in His heart for us when we just don’t get it.

judas certainally didn’t get it, or that may have been the problem, he may have been purley motivated by the money factor. that perfume was expensive, and if he could take it and sell it, he could help himself to the funds it brought.

but there is a part of my heart that breaks for judas. yes he betrayed Jesus, and yes he was way off track on several counts, but if Jesus kept him around and tried to teach him, then regardless of what he did, my heart still breaks for his.

people who know Jesus, but can’t get past themselves or their own agendas enough to see who He really is, and what He’s all about, and how much He is consumed by love for us, they truly sadden me. they are so close to the heart of everything and of real meaning and purpose and truth. but the world is just dangling right on front of their eyes. they are blind, but only because they have a cloth over their head. all they need to do is have God remove it for them and they would be exposed to reality as it truly is, but instead as Scripture tells us, they find amusement in finding new ways to do evil and they simply do not perceive His presence or His desire for them.

judas, judas, judas…my heart is heavy for you. God does not desire that one should be lost. but because we are living in our own filth and sin, and we cannot dislodge ourselves, He had to provide a way out at His own expense.

so many times we focus on what others should have or could have done to better please God, assuming from our own selfish motives and pride that we would have chosen a better route than they did. would that God would blind us instead to ourselves, seeing only the needs of others…

please God, blind us all.

send us out into the world today totally blind.

deafen us to the cry of our flesh and sin.

so that you may truly reign within us all.

that the needs of the poor, the orphaned and the widow may not be overlooked.

so that the world could hear Your song of love, sung by untainted motives.

so that we may honor You and You alone.

my Lord, and my God, have mercy on us all.

may Your grace continue unabated to the ends of the earth, poured out from the wounds of Your Son to cover us all.

please God, blind us all.

let us instead see with Your heart.