genesis 16 :: hagar and ishmael

poor abram.

sarai is upset because she cannot bear children, so -she- suggests that abram take her maidservant hagar to be his concubine…and seeing that the fruit was pleasing to the eye and also good for food, he took it.

he was trying to please his wife, and at the same time force the hand of God. 2 big mistakes here though…

#1 – men…never, NEVER try to please your wife by substituting another person/object/anything in her place. she doesn’t want to be replaced. she doesn’t want to play second fiddle to anyone or anything. even if she begs you to, she doesn’t really mean it. she is expressing frustration, and she wants you to tell her that she is the -only- way/person/whatever for you, and you’re content to wait alongside her until God’s purposes are made clear and distinct.

#2 – do NOT try to force the hand of God to suit your own wants or goals. abram should have known to at least consult God on this move to take hagar as a secondary wife. he should have run that family planing chart up the flagpole, just for a little while just to see if God said “Yea or Nay” but he saw an opportunity that looked legit, his wife seems to be endorsing everything, so why not just go for it, right?

poor abram.

and even today, as we know, we live with the product of his rash decision making without consulting God. and while I harbor no ill will toward the arab race whatsoever, they do serve as an example to us today. they are just as much children of God as I am or someone from china or kenya… but their racial origin story is well known and so the events surrounding it can serve as an example for us today.

the circumstances surrounding abram’s decision those thousands of years ago aren’t that much different from something we might experience today. granted, we probably won’t be giving any opportunities for multiple marriages based on the infertility of our first wife. BUT we will have experiences in our life where we feel like things are lining up to make a big decision happen, but from a different approach than we first expected.

when it seems we may need to deviate from God’s original plan, we should definitely check with Him first to make sure what we’re doing is kosher. you never know how wide, or long lasting the effects of our own actions will be…or who they will effect.

just take the time to ask God…nothing major, nothing ground shaking, just ask God. pray for wisdom and discernment and see where He’s pointing you.