there are many nights where i just wake up, and that’s all there is to it. there may be an external cause, such as a storm or a child crying or there may be the internal cause of a joint aching or hearing myself snore. whatever it may be, once i have awoken, my tendancy is to stay awake even knowing full well that several hours may pass through the night/morning where i should be sleeping. i cannot just lay back down and will mysef to sleep, nor can i fully satisfy the activity of my heart or mind with television.late night reruns or mindless infomercials will not restore sweet sleep to my grasp.

instead, i must turn to prayer and reading. having just spent some time reading the rule of st. benedict my previous convctions of that course of action have been verified. sleep can be a theif that robs us or distracts us from some work that we can do for the sake of God or from lietening to His Spirit at a time when our hearts are fresh and open.

it is no mystery that as children and teens, and even young adults, that when we were up late with friends our conversations should naturally drift to matters of the heart and things spiritual. our lack of mental defense, brought on by the struggles of the day combined with the easy going nature of a mellowed attitude, allows for the freedom to think about and discuss things that our emotional state at midday may prevent. this state has often led to much experimentationa and dabbling in darker things as well, and so as much caution and deliberation as can be mustered in this state should be employed. our hearts are primed to be scratched at this point, so we must be wary of the enemy’s schemes and methods.

with that in mind, we must also be careful to use these quiet hours of the heart to listen for the Spirit’s direction and for persuit of God’s leading just as much, if not more than we have guarded our hearts from the devil’s mischief.

spending these waking hours in prayer is never a futile task. many times it has quieted my heart and mind and restored sleep. other times, the Spirit’s leading reminds us of people or issues that we had committed to pray for but had forgotten, and whose need may now be urgent. when seeking God’s leading in these times, it is best to ask Him directly who we should pray for, and maybe even why, so that even while our family and friends rest, this person’s life may still be bathed in prayer. it may be that the raw sincerity f the heart in these dark hours lends a potency and urgency to our prayers, because ourminds are uncluttered by the concerns of the walking and waking world.

there are no papers to push, no maintenace work to accomplish to to do lists to work on when we maintain these silent vigils of the night. our entire selves are dedicated to a single task. our mind, body and soul are joined in one persuit. nothing else matters but folowing God’s call on our hearts. these hours where sleep eludes us can be harnessed by God to still do great things in our minds and hearts.

so do not curse the night when sleep runs from you like a wayard child. do not toss and turn in fitful anger because -your- time of rest slips away like so much sand through the fingers of a young keanu reeves extolling life’s futility to socrates. (it’s “bill and ted’s excellent adventure” in case you’re confused.) do not be angry or selfish in these times, but like in your normal waking hours of service, use them for the sake of God. even when it seems like time would be better spent with eyes shut & sheets wrapping your inert form, the Father’s leading through Son and Spirit can be sought directly without much, if any, cause for distraction.

so, whether lying down or walking down the road, seek after God. Use all the time gifted to you to bring Him honor, and to grow stronger in Him.