sometimes the full weight of just who i am comes crashing down on me. (i am tempted to write in the third person so i can distance myself from this…) my failings, my sins, my selfishness & my own self-deception. i feel like i’m wandering around in a desert. physically, emotionally & spiritually i am dragging. i am struggling in the full sense of the word. my heart is heavy, my sin chaining me down like jacob marley. i have forged my own weights. they cling to me, and drag, drag…slowing me down. my heart is breaking.

i see the possibility of repentance, but even that looks too far out of reach. how can i possibly get rid of all this? i am covered, bound and lack the strength to let go.

what can i do?

what hope is there for me?

the answer is none.

i can’t do anything.

i am finished.

THANK GOD that i am not on my own!

THANK GOD that i am not left to my own devices!

THANK GOD!

THANK GOD!

THANK GOD!

repentance is possible! God’s hand will reach down and snatch me up out of the depth of my sin. i know that He is there, and taht He cares deeply for me. and, Oh!, what a mystery that continues to me to me.

i must confess my sin to let them go. i do not just debate and explore rhetoric. this is action bound. i must do this, but in doing this, i do not save myself. this is all God, this is all through the work of Jesus 2000 years ago and in the Spirit’s work today.

my Triune God is greater than i could ever comprehend. His very nature is beyond the very limits of my faintest abilities to imagine.

Christ Jesus is my intercessor, melchizedek to my abraham, bringing me before the Father.

john acted as the voice of -one- crying out in the wilderness. his message was not distorted by human opinion. his message wasn’t tainted by political agendas, or by the pressures of popularity. his voice was singular, because he spoke God’s message.

Father, let such purity of heart, mind, speech and purpose be found in me. cleanse me. remove my chains. lift me up, and put Your words in my mouth.

i am not alone.

i am NOT alone.

i am NOT ALONE!