how selfish are we? honestly. how selfish are we?

now, i don’t have some kind of gauge to help rate us or anything like that. i don’t have stats and figures to quote. this is just off of the top of my head. on a scale from 1-5, (1 being scrooge, 5 being Jesus) where are you. i’m not giving you, or me, the luxury of the 1-10 scale. that’s too cushy, and vague. 1-5, go.

now look again at yourself. did you give yourself a 3? did you figure that middle of the road was safe? tell you what, let’s change it. on a scale from 1-4, not allowing for anything like 2.5 an an answer, (again 1=scrooge, 4=Jesus) where do you fall?

generosity is a difficult thing sometimes. we are swayed and change disposition on how close it is to pay day, or if a big bill comes through this week or not. we ado not rely on God to provide, we rely on our checking accounts, and our own comfort. how often do we give when it becomes uncomfortable? we are fine to drop the change in our car into the salvation army bucket, because that’s just change. but would you drop in a $50 on a whim? would you even put in $10? what about at church? do we trust God enough to give that tithe out of love, or do we pull out whatever it is that we may have, giving Him our seconds? and that’s enough about money. i wasn’t really even shooting for that this morning.

i was really wondering about our personal time. how freely do we give that? change in a bucket takes 3 seconds of thought and 2 seconds of action and we feel good about it, proud of ourselves, even. but what about our personal time. why do we even call it ‘personal’ time? it’s to give us the false impression that anything on earth is ours at all. it is a deceiving thought process. we have nothing, not even the clothes on our backs that we can say is ‘ours.’ “the earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.”, right? so, how can we claim to have ‘personal’ time or ‘personal’ space or say this is ‘my house’ or ‘my shirt’ or ‘my toothbrush’?

seriously. nothing is yours, nothing is mine. we do not have possession, just stewardship. only stewardship, nothing more, nothing less. the parable of the talents is very applicable here. if you are not familiar with that story, read Matthew 25:14-30.

so, in the time that God has given you, how has your role as steward been so far? are you pleased with the results of your efforts so far? are you going to be like the 1 talent man, or the 5? have you dug a hole in the ground, as it were, with your efforts and time, or do you rely on God to guide you through each day so that the investments you make can flourish rather than mold?

get some perspective. look at Jesus’ example in the Gospel writings. there are times when you know He was exhausted, but He goes right on and serves, or speaks, or heals. Jesus understood the meaning of time, and priority. He really is our example that we need to follow. we need to reach out to others, even when we don’t feel like it. we need to share Christ with others, even when we think we are in a hurry. we need to serve, even when we’ rather be doing something ‘for ourselves.’

watch, and beware of your own arrogance and pride. i have to keep mine in check every day, every single day. i am a teacher. that is who God made me to be, so my ego needs to be kept in check daily. i need to understand how little i understand, rather than giving out answers to everything. and in my time, as well, i think i know best how to spend my time, but i can also be prideful or arrogant about that, too. i assume that my plans are what is really most important, and in the process, neglect other areas that may need attention. i am a repeat offender when it comes to spending too much time with others over my own family. i admit it, i know it’s a problem sometimes. and if i would just communicate things a little more often to my wife, it wouldn’t be such an issue. but my lack of communication, on occasion, also shows a lack of priority for those areas. if i am not careful, i will schedule meetings and appointments every day, and leave my family out of the mix. or even come home tired enough that I am not much fun to be around.

so, ‘personal’ time, ‘personal’ anything for that matter, really needs to be re-evaluated and re-worked so that our scope of understanding encompasses reality, and not our own agendas or selfishness.

everything for His glory,

everything for His Name,

everything for His purpose,

everything for my shame,

His ways to be revealed in me,

my heart is not my guide,

but in Christ Jesus daily walking,

the Spirit by my side,

i will walk, and i will trudge,

along the narrow way,

and as my Saviour holds my hand,

my heart will never sway.

dear Jesus, please forgive me,

all my selfish ways,

and teach me to die again,

and live in You today.

forgive me Father, all my sin,

and cleanse my heart of stone,

so that with Your power in my life,

others see You alone.

guide me Spirit, tug my heart,

tell me what to say,

let my works be done through you,

to sway the hearts of men.

that others may feel You near,

and turn their hearts as well.

to save us from our selfish ways,

and the road that leads to hell.

God, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Spirit, have mercy.

amen.