if you have read many of these, you already know i have confessed to having to battle legalism in my heart. i won’t express it to others, i just get on myself too much with it… i struggle with allowing myself the freedoms i allow for others. i guess that’s better than the other way around, but if i model those ideals someone else may pick up on them and either be turned off, or heaven forbid, follow my example.

i also have a tendency to sell myself short, which stems from stuff that i went through more than half a lifetime ago. i also need to ask God to help me drop those attitudes as well. these are the ones that still hurt a little when i think about them, and if i focus on them too much, can spin me down into a funk pretty quick. so, even right now, i’m trying not to think about them too much as i type this.

i still have baggage i carry…and, in my heart , and in my mind, i know that i should not. because God has taken all need for these feelings away. i should have handed them over to Him so long ago. they do not honor Him, and in selling myself short, i sell God short because i doubt the work He has done, is doing and will continue to work in my life. i need to cut it out, but i really need His help to do it.

i have a freedom in Christ Jesus that should make the leader of every nation envious because they cannot create it for themselves with all the power and authority they hold. what they grasp at with guns, bombs and fear mongering, i have accepted freely as a gift. i did not have to subdue a nation in order to lay a hold of it, and i do not have to force it on anyone.

one man died, of His own choosing and out of pure love, in order for me to have this freedom. He died in my place, and took away all the need for these things.

i said i love the restoration movement, and here’s partly why:

we have available every God honoring tradition at our fingertips to experience, but we do not hold to any of them like they are a requirement of the law. if we want to have a foot washing service, then we can…and we can do it as often or as frequently as we so desire. if we want to hold palm fronds on Palm Sunday, and have a rocking worship service to celebrate, then we can. we can burn incense or not, we can be solemn as we see fit, and we can rejoice when we deem it appropriate. there is no synod or diocese to answer to, no central head to conform to beyond God Himself. we have every freedom in Christ, and need never make anything into meaningless ritual. if we find that we are doing something just for the sake of doing it, we can drop it for a few years, in order to shake off the dust of tradition.

we look to Scripture alone as our example. there are no extras that hold authority. and if at any time we discover that we have wavered, we know exactly where to return to, and a Godly simplicity can be maintained. no one person will ever hold authority over us beyond the Living Word of God – Jesus.

no one should ever be confused about our standards. we hold to Biblical precedent as our rule of law, and if it’s not to be found, then we allow for freedom of opinion. in key matters of doctrine, we will hold an unwavering stance. in matters of opinion, we offer freedom (within the bounds of being consistent with the whole of Scripture) without condemnation. and no matter which is happening, we operate out of love at all times. love in all its facets…

i love the components of most of Church traditions. i think most of them are beautiful, and i really appreciate them, deeply. but do not want anything we do to come to the point of vain repetition. i want to drink in the richness of God in every way imaginable. but in order to do that, i need to also drop those bags i’m carrying still so i can really run free in Him.

Jesus continues to deal with me like He did with the pharisees in mark 7:9-13. they were exchanging God’s law for rules of man, and He called them out on it…and i am very glad of that. God doesn’t want our gifts of worship and service and praise if we are doing them just to do them. He would rather we kept our mouths shut and our hands in our pockets.

Father, forgive me hard heart. help me to drop those bags of self-doubt and trust in You at all times to accomplish the work You desire to do in my life. i don’t want to disappoint You, and i don’t want to quench Your Spirit’s work in my life. free me from myself, dear Lord. You are sufficient for me in everything, always… amen.