(unmarked journal entry, presumably from matthew 7)

living the Kingdom life definitely means taking extra steps in all the areas of life.you can’t get by with some minimum effort and expect something special to happen. there is so much more to the Kingdom life than just aiming for the low bar. that’s just living up to your own abilities.

i have to trust God to work in my life, i need to ask Him to help me reach higher, to seek deeper, to learn more every day so i can do more for Him every day…and all as a great big “thank-You!” not so i can write out some big list of accomplishments, but so that I can do for Him out of sheer gratitude.

i know that my best is less than worthless, and will never make the cut or have any resemblance to what it really should have been. it’s like the child who makes something that barely resembles an ashtray in their art class, but their parents don’t even smoke. it is worthless, poorly done and not thought out.

that is why i need to get to know the Lord and Master of creation and creativity on a deeper level than just a first glance impression. i must rely on Him to teach me the art and craft of subtle movements, of how to make gentle impressions, and how not to mar my efforts.

thank-You, Father, for taking me by the hand and teaching me.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

He knows i need it.

when you become aware of your sin, does it bring you pain? does it concern you deeply? does it make you uncomfortable? when you _fail_ to live up to who you were crated to be, does it crush your spirit?

if your sin does not make you twitch and wretch and bring a lump into your throat and a sense of dread into your spirit, then i am going to dare to say that you (or i) have failed to really look at what we have done, and compared it to the righteousness of God.

weep, O sinner! / for your life is at an end. / cry out, O sinner / for mercy from His hand. / your sin has been made obvious. / your life is in His hands. / your dark and dreary soul, / in its parched and empty land, / can only be redeemed / by the One who whom angels laud. / on your knees, / proclaim the Name, / accept the gift of grace. / leave behind the guilt, the shame / the life of endless waste. / Jesus! Father! Spirit! / have mercy on this man! / wretched ball of flesh and bone / of sin and unclean hands / my empty soul needs filling! / my dirty life, please cleanse! /  i am a worthless wanderer! / i submit to Your commands! / help me! help me! help me! / lift my head, / open my eye / unleash my heart to soar / as to the world i die. / i am Your child, / Great Father. /  yes, a lost one, such as i. / redeem this life of sin and death, / and may Your glory rise!

amen.