“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14, 15 ESV)

I used to carry around an offense done against me. It wasn’t anything that haunted me daily or caused me to need counseling or threw my walk with Christ completely out of whack (I felt.) But when the occasion came up I was always ready to share the offense with others. I had moved beyond it, I said, but the wrong done against me was still shared in a way that revealed I did care about what has been done, and I almost reveled in telling the story.

I had not forgiven, there had just been time pass since the offense.

There was another time something was said about me that was wholly untrue, by a stranger no less, that was incredibly offensive to me. My skin is pretty thick, and I can take a lot, but this comment was truly, deeply cutting and assailed my character and everything I stand for. To be honest, the assertion still stings when I think about it, because words do matter. And while I don’t think about this one often, I had to ask myself if I had really forgiven my offender.

We all have lists we could rattle off of times we have been wronged, or false accusations made. We all have people we would probably rather not see again, people we aren’t hoping to get Christmas cards or lunch invitations from. And while we aren’t required to be best buddies with everyone, as Christians we are called to love everyone and to forgive as we have been forgiven.

And so we must ask ourselves, is this offense more grievous than my own offenses against God? Is this sin truly unforgivable, even in His sight?
And since the one unforgivable sin can only be committed against the Holy Spirit Himself, the answer is ‘no.’ And then, if we choose to hang on to anger and judgment, ignoring the grace God offers and dismissing His call to forgive as He has forgiven us, then we stand in the same place as the unmerciful servant who had his coworker jailed over $20 when he had just been forgiven millions. We stand before God and say that our hurt is greater than His grace. We tell Him that our desire to hang on to wounded pride is more important than letting go, and so we place ourselves higher than Him.

An unforgiving spirit isn’t just an ugly thing, it is offensive in and of itself. A spirit that will not forgive is a spirit that is ruled by grudge, anger and hatred and that spirit will not grow, mature or be of any use within the Kingdom of God. If we are going to GoLove for the sake of Christ, then we must truly let go of every kind of offense and trust grace to work in us, and allow mercy to carry our pain away. Ask forgiveness for your lack of forgiveness and forgive anyone and everyone who wrongs you. In this, Christ is victorious.