“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”
2 Corinthians 3:4-6 ESV

I need the reminder on a weekly and often daily basis, that I am insufficient for the task to which I have been called. I know it in my mind, but I do not always operate under that understanding. I try too hard to do too much on my own in my strength and with my abilities. It’s never a surprise when that comes up short, or when I am left thinking, ‘You know, I really should have included others/spent more time in prayer/collaborated with other groups/etc. this time.’ The main concern, of course, being that I try too often to do too much without directly engaging God in the matter. Rather than carry the conversation, seek wisdom and counsel, do the things I know in my head I should be doing, my heart plugs on forward pridefully only to remember a little too late in the process that I have been pulling weight by myself that I was never intended to pull on my own or in my own way.

My sufficiency comes from Christ. My head knows this, but my heart is stubborn to acknowledge it. I know, I really, really know that I am insufficient and that I absolutely need the guidance and infusion of His Spirit to make anything work or to cause any positive, forward motion.

And so I repent, yet again, of my pride, arrogance and lack of love in not including my Master & Redeemer in ‘my plans.’ My rudeness and inconsideration of the One who loves me most, and looks at me in all my ‘wisdom’ like a parent watching their baby learn they have hands and fingers to wiggle yet again, giggling to them self saying, ‘Yup, there they are again, those mysterious, wiggly fingers.’ My sudden revelations just serving as reminders of how small and powerless I am, how insufficient to the task…

And so, if I am going to GoLove anyone in His Name, I had better include Him from the get-go and run on His path with His plan. What I bring to the table will always be too little, too late. My power simply isn’t anything, it doesn’t register on the scale at all, unless I am plugged into Him.

So go away, pride! Leave me, arrogance! Let Christ rule and reign, not just in my head, but more importantly in my heart!
He is my sufficiency and strength.

Amen.