“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted.”
2 Corinthians 7:10-13a ESV

Often, we hesitate to do anything or say anything that will bother or offend others. Even if it means letting a sin or dark activity go unmentioned, we will stay quiet. We are encouraged to not rock the boat, and to just live and let live. But to allow people to continue on in darkness, willfully, because we just want to avoid a confrontation doesn’t show love and kindness to them, it shows a complete disregard and a level of apathy that wounds the soul.

If I was engaged in an activity or an attitude that was dragging my heart away from Christ, I would hope and pray that someone in my family or my church would speak up and say something to me. I would hope someone loved me enough to speak truth and light and life and wisdom into my heart and to open my eyes to the severity of my actions. Because it is in this conviction, in this grief, that my heart and mind are compelled to repentance. And so, in direct speech and with a heavy dose of love, I would hope that a brother or sister in Christ would help open my eyes and my heart to what I had rationalized and what I had lost so far.

Godly grief is not a bad thing. Conviction leads to sorrow and sorrow leads to repentance, and it is in this place of repentance that we find healing, wholeness and our joy is renewed. The grief we experience when we say, ‘I wish I would have said something.’ Comes with inaction and it comes at a time when it is irreversible. Godly grief comes at just the right time and it changes everything if we will allow it. A hardened heart doesn’t quickly turn, but the love of friends can help speed the task up.

We just speak from a place where our love shines through. We must communicate our concern in a way that leads to encouragement. A broken heart is a heart that can be reshaped into something beautiful. So, GoLove in the truth, in gentleness and respect, sharing honest concerns and being willing to listen when those concerns are about you. Honesty is a two way street, and friendly correction must be accepted as well as it is given.

Whatever happens, seek God’s direction before speaking, and prayerfully approach every situation with love.