“8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, 9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus, 10 appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I fathered him while I was in chains.”
Philemon 1:8-10
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We were discussing this very subject last night in our Bible study group at church. In 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul makes it very clear that the weight of his position as an apostle gave him every right to come and speak into their lives with much power and authority, but he chose to be among them ‘as a little child’ or ‘as a mother nursing her baby.’ Again, here, we find this same sentiment, and we need to take Paul’s example to heart as he does the work of walking like Christ. His appeal to Philemon for the sake of Onesimus could have been made strictly in power and authority. He could have forced his hand and thrown his apostolic weight around. Instead, he simply says his appeal comes ‘on the basis of love.’

As a minister, speaking from the authority of the Word each week, I could make calloused demands, not taking the hearts a lives of others into account, but I would not be a faithful representative of the Word if I acted like that. When the rich young ruler comes to Jesus, and his heart is in error, Jesus looked at him and loved him. When He looked at Jerusalem, he saw that great city as helpless and lost, and He desired to draw them under his wing as a mother hen does with her chicks. Jesus has the authority to walk into Jerusalem and demand change, but that is not the nature of love. Instead, He shows them a love so great that it cannot be dismissed.

Paul, echoing Christ, does the same here. He calls this run away slave a useful brother. He sends him as his own spiritual child, a title he used for a few such as Timothy. He even says that he sends Onesimus back to Philemon as a part of himself, a phrase which indicates that he was vital to Paul’s life and works. In short, he makes his appeal based in love rather than a demand. The demand could have been received grudgingly, but Paul’s approach left Philemon in the position to make the proper decision and to do so of his own volition.

As we GoLove others for the sake of Christ, it is not our place to beat them into submission, but to appeal to them in love. We plan our words, we make a point of living the proper example with the proper attitude, and we trust that the love spoken through the Gospel itself, through the power of the Holy Spirit, will be an effective witness that will touch their heart, mind and soul. So trust in the power of the message that has been entrusted to you. Trust in the work of the Spirit, and do not presume to force your hand in an attempt to force a heart to change. The Spirit does the work of conviction, we simply and humbly make that appeal in love.