“15 During these days Peter stood up among the brothers — the number of people who were together was about 120 — and said: 16 “Brothers, the Scripture had to be fulfilled that the Holy Spirit through the mouth of David spoke in advance about Judas, who became a guide to those who arrested Jesus. 17 For he was one of our number and was allotted a share in this ministry.” 18 Now this man acquired a field with his unrighteous wages. He fell headfirst and burst open in the middle, and all his insides spilled out. 19 This became known to all the residents of Jerusalem, so that in their own language that field is called Hakeldama (that is, Field of Blood). 20 For it is written in the Book of Psalms:

‘Let his dwelling become desolate;

let no one live in it; and

Let someone else take his position.’

21 “Therefore, from among the men who have accompanied us during the whole time the Lord Jesus went in and out among us — 22 beginning from the baptism of John until the day He was taken up from us — from among these, it is necessary that one become a witness with us of His resurrection.”

23 So they proposed two: Joseph, called Barsabbas, who was also known as Justus, and Matthias. 24 Then they prayed, “You, Lord, know the hearts of all; show which of these two You have chosen 25 to take the place in this apostolic service that Judas left to go to his own place.” 26 Then they cast lots for them, and the lot fell to Matthias. So he was numbered with the 11 apostles.”

Acts 1:15-26

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What do you do to recover from a painful memory? How do you move forward? What is the rough way to behave? How do you pick up the pieces and move ahead? 

Jesus had obviously chosen to 12 men for a very specific reason. There was a mirroring of the tribes of Israel, and from a numerological standpoint, it was the combination of God (3) and man (4) multiplied out together. It was highly symbolic and meaningful, and so there was a need to restore what was broken.

Now, Jesus had plenty of time to do this before He ascended, but the community needed time to heal and He was also leaving them tasks to accomplish in their own. They needed some victories and some healings to take place in their hearts that required them to take steps of faith and seek out God.

Now, the Holy Spirit had not yet been poured out on the church, so they resorted to the best method they knew to involve God in the choosing, and so they cast lots. Today, we have no need for lot-casting, but instead should rely on the Holy Spirit to help us in moments where we don’t know quite what to do. But that being said, we do need to rely more on Him than we often do.

Sometimes my life is in difficult to carry, hard to move pieces because I have been trying far too hard to make things happen on my own rather than trust God to move. I push and press and shove and cram until shards snap off and things get pointy and I wind up wounded. And God is always there to bind me up, bring me healing and help me move forward, the moment I give the reins back over to Him. The messes of me are totally fixable for Him, and I must again resign myself to His leading. 

Judas, the ‘son of perdition,’ left a wound in th  community that needed to be addressed, healed and moved beyond. His betrayal was used to usher in grace for us, which just goes to confirm that God can and does use even the worst bits of our lives to still work His will. 

We are not beyond redeeming if we still have breath. Even our worst mistakes can be learned from and God can work wonders from the ashes and rubble we leave in our wake. But it takes faith, humility and a resigned spirit to help bring about this change. Pride will always keep healing from happening. Humility draws us close to God and allows Him to do that work in us that enables us to GoLove in His Name and in His grace. It must be through His power and in His strength that this is accomplished. Just like it takes an expert to restore a shattered artifact or to retouch a masterpiece, we must leave the work of restoration in the hands of God. Our own efforts will always come up short of perfection. 

 Bad restorations: