“But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.””
Feedback is often a good thing, hearing back from trusted voices, getting a solid, objective viewpoint on things we may overlook or be blind to will usually help us grow and fosters maturity within us. Jesus gave feedback to the disciples, Jethro gave it to Moses, and on we go through out scripture. What would have come of David if Nathan hadn’t confronted him about his affair with Bathsheba & the murder of Uriah? What would have happened to John Mark if Paul & Barnabas hadn’t sent him home? There are incidents in our lives that seem unpleasant at the time, but bring us healing & wholeness. Fighting to maintain our ground (when that ground was sinful) does us no good at all, and can lose the godly counsel for us that we so desperately need. James tells us directly:
“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”
This is love, that we speak up and help rebuke & draw into correction those who stumble and fall under sin. This is the good, God-honoring criticism that brings life. We need to pray that we are ready to receive it and to do something about it when it comes. Listen to Solomon:
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
But what about unjust criticism? What about those intentionally hurtful, fear-based attacks that come from unfounded accusations? What do we do with those?
We have heard the little chant, “Sticks & stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” And that is terribly untrue. I still remember a ‘friendly’ insult from almost 30 years ago. Why? Not because I want to, but because it was an assault on my own self-worth, something I was struggling with deeply at the time. An ill-worded & ill-timed offense that struck deep & lingers to this day. A repeated whisper, a lie from the enemy, a doubt sewn into my identity in Christ.I shouldn’t pay it any mind, but there it sits…and it has friends.
What about when people try to be intentionally vicious, when the scheme, back-stab & betray? What do we do with those moments, phrases & hurts? How do we keep them from taking purchase in our hearts, growing roots, & making their home with us?
Paul reminds us to take every thought captive, holding it up to the light & heat of God’s own truth:
“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ’s, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-7 ESV
This is our first step. We cannot help but hear the criticism, so we must then grab it & hold it up next to truth. Not situational truth, not the truth we lie to ourselves with, but with God’s own truth. Examine it, study it and see if it holds true still. Seek God-honoring counsel & allow them to be a sounding board. Pray over it and see if the heart of the message may have been from God even if the delivery wasn’t ideal. Sometimes passion & concern does a disservice to an expression of hope. Listen to David & Solomon:
“He who disciplines the nations, does he not rebuke? He who teaches man knowledge— the Lord —knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O Lord, and whom you teach out of your law, to give him rest from days of trouble, until a pit is dug for the wicked. For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage; for justice will return to the righteous, and all the upright in heart will follow it.”
“My son, do not despise the Lord ‘s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”
And if it doesn’t hold water? If it’s obviously hateful & meant to wound? Then give it over to God, and pray for those who have offended you. If you are in Christ, the ignorant, hurtful words of human beings play no part in determining your value & worth. Listen to this: You are a child of the King & someone who is not the King cannot give or take away from who you truly are when you are His. This is good news! Be glad & rest in this!
If it’s from God, it’s because He loves you and is sculpting you to look more like Jesus.
If it’s not from God, it’s trash, and deserves 0.0% of your head space. Dismiss it like the wind & move along. And if the enemy tries to regain that headspace again, just remember whose you are, the One who calls you by your name, not by your past or by false accusations. When we walk with God, we walk in the rhythms of grace.
BenHedgspeth.com 