^“1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), ³ “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” ⁴ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

⁵ Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, ⁶ not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, ⁷ rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, ⁸ knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. ⁹ Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” 

Ephesians 6:1-9

In a continued thought from the previous chapter, where he was admonishing husbands and wives, Paul is led by the Holy Spirit to speak to more relationships of authority and submission. While we observe a chapter break, there was no break in the flow of thought from one to the next. The same intent carries through, and the same knees must be bowed before Christ in honor of His role and in deference to His authority. As we read through the familial relationship between parents and children, and into the more complicated relationship of a bondservant to their master, we see the same principles at work.

Every human being has a struggle with the sin of pride. We push back against what doesn’t originate from our own flesh. We want our own way. We think we know best. We desire more for ourselves. But no matter what, we are never truly in authority over our own lives. We must always be mindful of those whom we serve, whether due to a paycheck, to a familial relationship, or due to some other circumstance of debt or oppression. Even the retired CEO who is personally debt free, independently wealthy and “living the life” sailing around the world without a thing on their calendar, is still beholden to God. No one escapes the overarching reality of submission that works against pride. 

So, as Paul moves our attention to the role of parents, we see the call for children to submit to them. We all know this doesn’t come naturally to us in our teen years. It must be learned, taught, and brought about by discipline and instruction. This whole idea rebels against the heart of a child, a teen or a young adult. Due to maturity and developmental restrictions, they cannot understand what they do not yet know about life. Everything is fresh and new to them, there is always some new thing to be explored, some new idea to grapple with. As we age, we lose the eyes to see these things, as we get wrapped up in the routines we wrap ourselves in so that we may feel secure.

So Paul speaks to both parents and their children. It is far too easy to forget the heart and position of the other. We must be considerate, understanding the nature of the relationship that God Himself ordained. There ought to be love, respect, and a desire to see God’s leading in the relationship. Even if the child cannot understand the position of the parent, and if the parent has forgotten what it is like to be the child. Their relationship must come together, into a point of understanding, in Christ. This adversarial bent doesn’t always end when a child becomes an adult, but requires the seasoning of time and maturity to reveal the fullness of understanding between the two.

Parents have been commissioned by God to raise their children. This is love, as God sees us walking outside of what He ordains, He disciplines us. So, as parents, we must do the same for our children, not seeking to “be their friend” but to apply discipline and instruction. They lack the capability and awareness to make sound, safe, and mature decisions, and so in compassion, and out of a desire to keep them from harm, we say “No” or “Go this way” in an effort to preserve them. God does the same for us. So, as Paul instructs, there must be obedience and honor in the heart of those who would learn, so they might walk in the promises that God has given, receiving His blessing. We must submit to learn as children, and we must submit to the Lord to parent well.

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Now, as to the relationship between a bondservant and their master, we find a more difficult situation. We want to hear Paul say “Masters, free your bondservants, releasing them from their oppression.” That would feel good. But that isn’t what we find here. Instead, we are propelled into a more difficult dynamic, one that cannot be changed, but that still points us to the heart of Christ. Uncomfortable as the idea of owning someone, compelling them to labor, is and should be, we must ask ourselves why this dynamic is addressed. 

I believe, in part, that it is this:

There are relationships that we experience in this life that we cannot escape, and that will challenge us at the core, to negotiate in faith and good standing before God. For the bondservant, there was no escaping the debt that held them to service. They had been purchased. They were not their own. This heart-breaking designation and reality would hang as a dark cloud over their heart and mind, doubtless bringing a lack of motivation, and creating a higher compulsion toward rebellion. Again, our pride is in question. 

And for the master, holding this power and sway over the life of another can be an intoxicating poison for the heart, wielding absolute authority over the life of another person, and bending them to your will. It is not hard to see where this would corrupt the heart, and dehumanize “the other.” There is a great danger that comes from authority without accountability, and when there is no call to the consideration of the Imago Dei in every human being in the heart of the one who administrates this power…cruelty is sure to follow. 

Between these two positions, is it natural to expect enmity. We anticipate a struggle here, and unlike the child who grows up and moves out on their own, fostered to maturity by a caring parent, this relationship is, at its core, adversarial. So, this is partially why, in my estimation, Paul addresses these dynamics. If the nature of this relationship can be changed, and if Christ can shine out in this extreme circumstance, then this would stand out as testimony to the world of the redemptive power of His grace and mercy. 

There will always be dynamics that we cannot change in life. So, how do we answer to them in a way that honors God?

Paul says it is not be simply being a “people-pleaser” but that it comes in the form of a sincere heart before the Lord, rendering our service to Him, whatever it may be. We say to ourselves, “This is where I am today. But in spite of this, I will choose to bring my heart before the Lord, in joyful submission to Him. I will make my work my worship, and I will give my best to Him there.”

It isn’t a matter of denying reality or turning a blind eye to our situation. Paul doesn’t say that at all. For the bondservant, there is a choosing of their attitude, and an understanding of the higher call that is on all who claim Christ. We cannot react according to the base cries of our flesh. Instead, we establish our integrity in a way that all can see, and which cannot be called into question. We move beyond the restrictions of our position, by rising higher than the expectation, and by letting the joy of the Lord be our heart’s song. We are looking to better days ahead, but living better now in Him. 

For the master, this subverts all expectation, and it forces them to see the reality of who this bondservant is. It reestablishes their humanity, as this person’s life and influence becomes a desired presence for them. It allows them to see beyond the paperwork and legalities, and into the heart of the one whom they have authority over. This is Romans 12:9-21 at work:

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. ¹⁹ Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” ²⁰ To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

This heaping of burning coals, the thoughts that cannot be shaken, reveals the work of the Holy Spirit in the one enslaved, and plants opportunities for the Gospel. There is an undeniable quality about the disciple who works against the human restrictions placed against them, and who rises to exemplify Christ in spite of hardship that shines out like a bright light in the darkness, and that refreshes like water in the desert. We are drawn to the stories of people who have walked in the understanding of being “more than an overcomer” because of Christ’s work in them. His power is made perfect in the weakness foisted upon them. The Gospel shines through.

And for the master in this passage, Paul’s directives for them are no less spectacular. He drives straight to equalization and humility as he reminds them that God is the Master of both of them. While they may think they’re in a position of authority, their “rank” is so far beneath the authority of God that they find themselves on equal footing with those whom they would direct. There is no sin of partiality resting in the heart of God, and if He is their Master (as He is), then they cannot fall below His standards. They are made to see those they have charge over as equals, and as fellow laborers for the Gospel. We hear Paul speaking plainly about this in his letter to Philemon: 

¹⁵ For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, ¹⁶ no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

¹⁷ So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. ¹⁸ If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. ¹⁹ I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. ²⁰ Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

²¹ Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

Philemon 15-21

The Christian ethic would reshape every relational dynamic that society knew and thought they understood. And when the master/bondservant relationship becomes one of brotherly-affection and mutual respect before Christ, the world will take notice. Jesus has already torn down the dividing wall of hostility between us:

¹¹ Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called “the uncircumcision” by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands— ¹² remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. ¹³ But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. ¹⁴ For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility ¹⁵ by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, ¹⁶ and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. ¹⁷ And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. ¹⁸ For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. ¹⁹ So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, ²⁰ built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, ²¹ in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. ²² In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Ephesians 2:11-22

This testimony is for the glory of God, and for the shaming of the flesh. It works against the pride that would separate us and instead produces fruit so sweet that it cannot be denied by any onlooker. Where the world seeks to define and divide, we seek the reconciliation and restoration of relationships made possible by Christ alone. And, as history shows, those who found themselves in position as “master” and who came to conviction in Christ, made sure to see the redemptive change come to those they held in oppression, and even drove them to seek freedom for others who were likewise held captive. This is the work of God, but it begins with these smaller changes, and new foundations laid by the work of the Holy Spirit in us. It wouldn’t have been a mystery to first century Christians that these dynamics would bring a radical shift to nature of these socially understood concepts. They can and do still today.

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This is just a drop in the bucket for both of these topics, but the core message is the same. We must submit ourselves to the LORD first, and in all things. In doing so, we will seek the blessings and goodness of God for the other person, revealing the transformative work of the Gospel within us, and benefitting them. We never know what He has in store with us as we steward the day laid out before us, but may we be found faithful regardless of what may come our way. 

Pray & Examine

As we come before the Lord today, we understand that both parenting, and the master/bondservant relationship, carries so much more than these few verses give time for today. They are complex relationships, with differing dynamics, and their own particular needs that we must seek out answers to in the whole of Scripture. 

But for today, we must ask ourselves:

1. How do I view my own submission before the LORD? Do I acknowledge it daily? How am I practicing submission?
2. What reminders do I have laid out before me that my submission before God is essential, and that I am not, in fact, in charge? What internal points of conflict (sin) exist that keep me from living in deference to His will and purpose?
3. Is there anyone in my life that I should be:
   1. Instructing for the Lord?
   2. Bearing up out of oppression, whether physical or spiritual?

And we must, in prayer, confess our rebellions before the LORD. We cannot create excuses for them, but out of love and thanksgiving lay them before Him, seeking out His glory which is higher than our own flesh can comprehend. 

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your own heart to you, and expose these rebellions so that you may live in submission before the Lord. What “restricted areas” are we protecting? What lessons are we attempting to stave off for the sake of our own comfort?

Ask God to draw you into His will, setting it to work in your life.